Revelations From A Ficticious Medical Examiner

I was watching NCIS (marathon!) the other day, and Ducky said something that made so much sense I took the time to look up the actual line. To put this in context, Ducky's resident Dr. Palmer was constantly texting, tweeting, Facebooking, etc with his new girlfriend on his phone.

" If you keep in constant contact with your lover, she will get to know you too well.  

You'll lose the thrill of discovery. The mystery of not knowing. 

Secrets - if handled properly - can be extremely alluring."

This got me thinking: what effect does social networking have relationships nowadays? In my opinion, certainly not a positive one. Not just because of the ever growing "Facebook drama," but also because of privacy. Sort of a "distance makes the heart grow fonder" type thing.

Our society has become one of instant gratification. When you text someone and there is no response 10 minutes later, what are your immediate thoughts? Did I do something wrong?  What if they're out with someone else?  When they text back, I'm going to ignore them and see how they like it. I myself am guilty of getting frustrated with "being ignored" when I get no response.  

Now think about back in the day (I like to imagine a Jane Austin-esque setting with a young maiden writing a letter...it's my daydream, don't judge). You would send someone a letter, and you would WAIT days, sometimes weeks, between responses. Exchanges of words meant something; it wasn't just a response of "lol" or a RT or "so and so 'likes' this." You didn't know everything about whoever was courting you; you learned about each other and grew together over time. Relationships had lasting power.

What happens when you are in constant contact with  your significant other? You get sick of each other, you want time to yourself, and you end up bickering over petty nonsense like why that girl liked the picture he posted.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is lay off, leave each  other alone, take a few hours or a day to yourself.  I'm no relationship expert, by all means. However, my current relationship is the most stress-free and relaxed I have ever been in a relationship. Do we have Facebook accounts? Yup. Are we friends? Nope.  My friends find this weird. I find it refreshing. I don't need or want to know what he is doing 24/7, and vice versa. When we sit down at dinner we can talk about that. I don't care who he is friends with, or what they post on his timeline. I trust him.  We each have ample space and time to ourselves, and it makes us appreciate our time together that much more. I like not knowing everything about him; I love having new things to talk about, joke about, and share.

So, next time you are Facebook stalking, obsessing over a text or tweet, or wondering why your call hasn't been returned, take a moment and reflect.  Are you really going to let something that petty get between you and someone you care about?

Valentines Day Dilemmas

A lot of girls take one of two stances on Valentines Day: either they put no effort or thought into it at all, or they stress out about it way too much. With a little less than two weeks left, those who plan to celebrate are in crunch time.

I am going to outline a few basic ideas on what to do for your man this Valentines Day, using three basic  categories, "gifts", "events", and "extra curricular activities" (just go with it, I was going for an appropriate title).

Gifts
For the mid 20s-early 30s kid at heart: Action figures!!! Stay with me here. What guy doesn't have fond memories of his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and XMen action figures?? You can find some really nice early-mid 90s figures on ebay, Big Bad Toy Store or even in your local antique mall (man, I feel old just typing that). Can't find an action figure that is up to snuff? Try finding him a throwback shirt. Sites thinkgeek , J!NX, and 80s Tees are my go-tos.

For the connoisseur of adult beverages: Chances are you know what your guy's drink of choice is. Buying him a nice bottle of whiskey, scotch, whatever his favorite may be, is a solid idea. Throw in a set of rock glasses, and you are in business. There are several websites that will rank the best whiskeys, etc and even give prices. That  way, you can stay in budget but also make sure you are getting the highest rated beverage for the money you are willing to spend.

For the guy who doesn't mind some pampering: Girls like good smelling perfumes and bath bubbles and all that jazz, right?  Well, in their own respect, so do guys. What is one area pampering cannot be argued against? Shaving. A nice set, complete with old school straight razor and brush has that classy old school  feel. Or, you can even find complete sets with face wash, aftershave, etc at a lot of department stores. I personally am a fan of this set from Perfectly Posh.

Events
For the fun guy!: Go karts. I don't really feel like I need to explain this.

For the sports fan: Take him on a date to the driving range. Your guy not a golf guy? There are several options. Indoor rock climbing, batting cages and  racquetball are always fun too.

For the guy who likes a good beer: Local microbreweries are the bomb. Find a microbrewery near you and go for a tasting! A lot of times they serve food as well.

For the guy who needs to let loose: Adult arcade is where it is at. Dave and Buster's is the go to nowadays. You can both have fun, eat dinner, and hey, maybe he will win you a teddy bear!

Cooking a nice dinner: The simplicity of making a yummy dinner at home is sometimes underrated.  Cook up a smorgasbord of your guy's favorite things, including dessert. My beau and I have started a tradition of cooking a nice dinner together and sitting down complete with candles and wine. A close friend once hired a chef to cook for her and her fiance' ... a little pricey, but if you can't cook and you have the funds, more power to ya.

Extra Curricular Activities
If you are looking for a smexy little get up, I have a few good ideas on reserve.

For the man who appreciates the classics: A pin up girl theme is always fun. Pin Up Girl Clothing is the go to site for all things pin up (sizes 00 all the way to 4x), including hairstyle ideas and makeup, their models are legit.

For the football fanatic: Guys practically gush all the time about how hot it is when girls wear sports jerseys. So why not feed into it? His favorite football team jersey (or hey, even hockey or soccer or whatever), a pair of lacey panties and color coordinated high heels..bam.

Basic lingerie is easy to find. Of course Victoria's Secret is a go to, and if you are lucky there may be a lingerie boutique in your area (my area has a few good ones).  My fellow curvy gals, Hips and Curves is my absolute favorite lingerie website. Also, before any of you ladies go getting all shy and self conscious about the smexy thing, be confident! You are gorgeous, I said so.